Bios

Jimmy (Vocals)
Turn ons: Band Aids, Boobies, Bald cats, Syphilis
Turn offs: Bactine, Butt Cleavage, a full set of teeth,
What bothers me the most… When I don’t see boobies
Favorite position: There is more than one?
Pant size: 6
Boxers, briefs, or banana hammock: banana hammock
Drug of choice: Candy Cigarettes
Favorite indigenous plant: Dandelions
In 5 years, I would like to…. Train a giraffe
Favorite disease: Syphilis
If I had a midget, I would….put him/her on my mantel
Nick Names: banana hammock, Jimmy cracked corn, butthole

Mike T (Drums)
Turn ons: Breathing, warm socks, fluffy kittens and Velcro gloves
Turn offs: when the Velcro gives
What bothers me the most… see turn offs
Favorite position: Anything involves Wesson Oil, a 9 iron and Velcro
Pant size: e=mc2
Boxers, briefs, or banana hammock: commando
Drug of choice: Wichita whisker biscuit
Favorite indigenous plant: poison oak. I like to itch.
In 5 years, I would like to…. Have a garden full of Poison Oak
Favorite disease: Anything I can catch sexually
If I had a midget, I would…. (sing “you spin me right round, baby right round”)
Nick Names: Chef, Bevis, Twitchy, OCD

Josh (Bass)
Turn ons: After dinner mints, fertilizer , Perry Como
Turn offs: strippers, grappling hooks, restraints and sedatives
What bothers me the most… Bad acting
Favorite position: the back stroke
Pant size: 19×43/4
Boxers, briefs, or banana hammock: tidy whities
Drug of choice: NyQuil
Favorite indigenous plant: Poinsettia
In 5 years, I would like to…. Go spear hunting in the Amazon
Favorite disease: Rabies
If I had a midget, I would…. Go spear hunting in the Amazon
Nick Names: Delilah, Stroker Ace

Pat (Guitar)
Turn ons: Twizzlers, Hot wax, 60 grit sandpaper, concrete
Turn offs: nylon line, bubble gum, serrated cooking utensils
What bothers me the most… street food vendors. Are they even regulated?
Favorite position: restrained, spread eagle in the middle of a commercial freezer
Pant size: 0
Boxers, briefs, or banana hammock: depends on the month
Drug of choice: Children’s vitamins
Favorite indigenous plant: Mustard Powder lichen
In 5 years, I would like to…. Have my nipples replaced
Favorite disease: Athletes Foot
If I had a midget, I would…. Make him become a horse jockey
Nick Names: Mr. Nipples

Mike K (Guitar)
Turn ons: The three Fs: Feet, Fungus and Flattery
Turn offs: The letter R, picture frames, week old cotton candy
What bothers me the most…Canadian Mounted Police
Favorite position: Rusty Bike Pump
Pant size: With or without wool underwear?
Boxers, briefs, or banana hammock: clean
Drug of choice: Cat Urine
Favorite indigenous plant: Quackgrass
In 5 years, I would like to….Memorize all the phone numbers in the phone book of people with last names beginning with D.
Favorite disease: anorexia
If I had a midget, I would….have the best costume for Halloween!
Nick Names: Fister, C-Section